


Pick Up Lines (Bartender AU)

by motorbike_on_the_avenue



Series: 30 days cheesy tropes challenge [26]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 Day Cheesy Tropes Challenge, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bartenders, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:57:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motorbike_on_the_avenue/pseuds/motorbike_on_the_avenue
Summary: The thing about bartenders is they get hit on all night long, so you gotta bring your A-game.Or; Cas is the new bartendes at the roadhouse, Dean's got a (not-so-subtle) crush on him, and Balthazar's trying to get Cas used to pick up lines.





	Pick Up Lines (Bartender AU)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic features terrible, terrible pick up lines, some of which I got from looking them up online.

‘Okay, last one,’ Ellen says. ‘What’s the recipe for an Old Fashioned?’ The new guy scrunches his face up a little.

‘Bourbon or Rye whiskey, 2 dashes Angostura bitters, a sugar cube and plain water. Orange slice or cocktail cherry to serve,’ Cas says in his deep voice. Dean hides his smile in his leather jacket as he hangs it up. The guy sounds like he’s swallowed a book on how to make cocktails. Ellen’s been quizzing him all week, and to give the guy his due, he’s obviously been studying.

They don’t get a lot of call for cocktails in The Roadhouse, but Ellen’s been thinking about introducing a special on one of the weeknights.

Ellen leaves Cas serving a couple of customers and comes out into the back, tying her hair in a bun.

‘Well, don’t just stand there looking like a moron. You going to start working or am I paying you to stand around all night?’ Ellen says to Dean. ‘It’s shaping up to be a pretty busy night.’

The bar always gets pretty packed on weekend nights. Sometimes it can get a bit rowdy. Dean’s had to break up his fair share of fights in the two years he’s been working here.

‘You gonna let the new guy handle it?’ he asks, his boss.

‘Sure, why not? He’s gotta learn sometime right?’ Ellen says. ‘Your Daddy or Sam coming in tonight?’ she asks.

‘Don’t know about Dad, but Sam’s up to his eyeballs studying right now, so I’ll doubt you’ll be seeing him for the next few months,’ Dean says. He’s beyond proud of his little brother, studying to become a lawyer. Scratch that, Dean’s proud Sam knows what he wants to do in life. Dean’s been doing nothing for the past four years since he left collage, just picking up jobs here and there whenever he finds something. When people ask him about his plans, he just shrugs. Thinks about leaving the town he grew up in, but has no real idea how to do it except for a vague thought of getting in his beloved car and driving, stopping in as many states as he can.

It’s not doing much with his life, he knows, but Dean knows better than anyone that life can end in the blink of an eye, and that nothing much matters as long as you’re happy.

In the six years of his life that he had mother for, that was what she taught him.

‘Well, it’ll all be worth it in the end,’ Ellen says. ‘Bobby should be back at around ten. Think you and Cas can handle it till then?’

‘Where’s Jo?’ Dean asks. Ellen’s daughter is usually hanging around at the bar, getting hit on and generally helping out when she can.

‘She’s gone out with a few friends this evening.’

‘The punters will be disappointed,’ Dean says. Ellen flicks him on the ear as she passes, walking to her office.

‘The punters will not be disappointed not to go home with a black eye for hitting on her. Anyway, from what I can tell, most of them are happy with the new eye candy,’ Ellen says. She nods towards the bar where Cas is placing a bottle of beer on the table for someone. The guy looks him and down, then winks, before taking his beer back to his table of friends.

Great. That’s all Dean needs; horny guys hitting on Cas, and knowing his luck some frigging homophobe will make himself known. The Roadhouse doesn’t have an issue with sexuality, but most of the customers aren’t exactly LGBT friendly.

Cas looks tough, but Dean doesn’t know if he could handle himself in a fight. ‘Including you, apparently,’ Ellen says, bringing Dean back to the conversation.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Dean says, turning his back on her. Ellen laughs.

‘Honey, everyone’s noticed you staring at him. Apart from him, but then he doesn’t seem like the most observant guy in the world.’

Dean thought he was being so subtle. He only looks at Cas when he has an excuse to; to check he knows what beer he needs to get, to see if he’s annoying the customer he’s currently chatting to at the bar, to make sure he knows where everything is, whenever Cas bends over and the tight denim of his jeans stretches over his butt…you know. When it’s absolutely essential.

And so what if he gets a little close to him now and again. It’s a tight fit behind that bar, and if Dean has to put a hand on Cas’s waist when he’s squeezing past him to get to the other side, or lean a little over his shoulder when he’s checking orders on the bar, then it’s mainly for balance purposes. ‘Even Bobby said something the other day.’ Well, shit. If Bobby, Ellen’s second husband and someone who’s like a foster father to Sam and Dean has noticed, Dean’s shot past subtle and landed somewhere in desperate.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Dean repeats. Ellen laughs.

‘We all think it’s cute. Strictly speaking, I’d prefer if my bar staff kept their hands to themselves, but as it’s you I’m willing to make an exception.’ Dean hears the office door close behind him, cutting him off.

 

‘Aren’t you going to ask me how my day’s going?’ Dean hears a customer ask Cas. It’s been really busy tonight, so much so that Dean’s only been able to say a quick hi to Cas. Luckily, everyone seems to be in good spirits, instead of rowdy, and they’ve made a good team. Most people seem to be settled with their drinks now, and Dean was thinking about sidling up to Cas to continue their conversation on books that they were having last night.

But Cas’s attention seems to be taken by some blond guy who’s leaning on the bar. He’s got a British accent, and Dean hates him on sight. He’s all tall and has eyes for nothing but Cas.

And Cas is looking up at him like he’s never seen anything more exciting in his life. Dean knows a little about Cas’s upbringing – five brothers, two sisters, parents still together and living in the next town over. Cas is striking out on his own for the first time in his life, working to gain independence although judging from his clothes, he doesn’t need the money.

He’s never talked about boyfriends or girlfriends, and he’s never given Dean any clue that he’s flirting back with him.

And, yes, okay, Dean’s been flirting. Not just the touching, but sending Cas cheeky smiles, and winks, or making several sexual innuendos – all of which seem to have gone over Cas’s head.

‘How’s your day going?’ Cas asks. Dean pretends to wipe down the same bit of bar he’s been working on for a few minutes now. If he moves, he’ll be out of earshot.

‘Pretty great now I’ve met you,’ the guy says and Dean rolls his eyes. Seriously? Could you get a cheesier pick up line?

The thing about bartenders is they get hit on all the time. If you wanna go home with them, you’ve gotta bring your A-game. At the moment, this guy is bringing an F.

Cas’s adoring gaze breaks, as he tilts his head and laughs.

‘Nope, sorry Balthazar. You’ll have to do better than that tomorrow,’ he says. ‘Did you really think that would work? It’s the worst chat-up line in history.’

‘You think so? Personally, I think that title goes to _nice coat you’re wearing, although it’d look better on my bedroom floor.’’_ The guy says. He laughs too, then turns his head and notices Dean looking at them. ‘How about you, green eyes? Worst chat up line in history?’ he asks. He doesn’t seem that bummed that Cas has rejected him.

‘Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel,’ Dean says. ‘Although _get your coat, you’ve pulled_ has to be in that list too.’ Dean takes a step towards them, scrunching up the tea towel in his hand.

Balthazar tilts his beer bottle at him. ‘I like it. You’ve obviously had your fair share of lines. Let me guess; you’re Dean?’ Cas coughs and gives a slight shake of his head to Balthazar, eyes wide. ‘Cassie here has told us all so much about you. Wonderful to meet you at last. Honestly, if I had anything less than my gigantic ego, I’d almost think he was trying to keep us from meeting.’

Cas takes a deep breath, then gestures between the two of them. ‘Dean meet Balthazar, one of my friends. Balthazar, meet Dean.’ The two men shake hands.

‘Do you often hit on Cas?’ Dean asks. They seem like they’re flirting, but he’s kind of getting the impression that Balthazar is that way with everyone.

Since he’s now eyeing up a couple of girls who’ve come giggling into the bar, Dean doesn’t think he’s serious about Cas.

‘All the time, but he’s too smart to take me up on it. Thought I’d get him better prepared for being a bartender by giving him some pickup lines.’ Balthazar’s gaze snaps back to them. ‘I have to say he’s been very good. None of them so far have got his pants to drop.’ Cas rolls his eyes, and goes off to serve a few customers.

Dean stays.

‘What lines have you tried so far?’ he asks.

‘Do you work at subway, because you just gave me a footlong. But, as Cas pointed out, it was rather stupid, because anyone using that line in here, would know he works as a bartender not at Subway. I lost my teddy bear can I sleep with you instead.’

‘Like I lost my phone number, can I have yours?’ Dean says. The first time he heard that one, he’d given the girl his number.

The tenth time he’d heard it, he’d ignored the person.

‘Feel my jacket, it’s made of boyfriend material,’ Balthazar says. ‘If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.’

‘I admire your focus on the cause,’ Dean says.

‘Oh, that’s nothing. I’ve got hundreds. Are you wi-fi, cause we’ve always had a connection? I’m here, now what are your other two wishes?’ Dean laughs.

‘Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?’ Dean says. He’s got years of pick-up lines stashed in his back pocket.

‘You smile is as big and beautiful as my penis,’ Balthazar says, and Dean throws his head back and laughs. ‘Which, actually did have me going back to his place so I could see if it was true.’

‘Was it?’ Dean asks. Balthazar shakes his head.

‘No. It did get the job done, but it wasn’t anywhere near as big as my smile.’

‘Nice,’ Dean says. ‘Was your Dad a thief, ‘cause he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.’

‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’ Cas says, coming back into the conversation. ‘You tried that one a few nights ago,’ he adds to Balthazar.

Balthazar laughs. ‘I’ll guess I’ll have to come up with something a little bit more to your standards tomorrow. Excuse me gents, duty calls.’ He salutes them both, then saunters – and Dean really does mean saunters – across the room, and plucks himself down at a table full of giggling women.

‘I’m guessing they’re not the people he came to this bar with,’ Dean says.

‘No. Our other friends are over there.’ Cas points at a table where a couple of other people sit. ‘But Balthazar likes to get around.’

‘And you and him? You’ve never, you know. Done anything with each other? He seems like he’d be up for it.’

Cas looks at Dean for a moment before bursting into laughter.

‘No, Dean, me and Balthazar have never done anything. He hits on anything that moves, I think he’s incapable of staying with someone for more than five minutes, he’s probably riddled with STDs, and judging from the stories he tells, I’d be a little bit too tame for him in the bedroom.’ Dean almost chokes on his spit at that. ‘Oh, I’m not saying I’m a prude or anything. But Balthazar likes his orgies, and that’s a little too far for me.’

Dean is leaning a lot more than he ever needed to know tonight.

 

It’s a few hours later when the fight starts. Two big hairy men, getting into it over something or other. Dean see’s the first punch being thrown, and is about to shout out for Ellen – who’ll come running in a second anyway what with the CCTV camera she’s got next to her desk – when Cas does the single hottest thing Dean’s ever see anyone do ever.

As soon as the punch lands, Cas is jumping over the frigging bar. One hand on the shiny countertop, bending the knees, landing in a perfect crouch on the other side, and running into the fray. He gets the guy who threw the punch in an arm lock, and basically marches him outside. Dean can tell the guy is struggling, but Cas must be hiding some muscles under his white button down, cause he doesn’t even appear to be breaking a sweat.

When he comes back in, Balthazar is wolf whistling, and a few other people are clapping Cas.

Even Ellen looks impressed as she leans next to Dean.

‘If I was twenty years younger,’ she says. ‘Don’t tell Bobby I said that.’ Dean promises he won’t.

He can’t look at Cas for the rest of the night. And it doesn’t help matters when Balthazar orders a cocktail and he has to watch Cas make him one. ‘Cause Cas it turns out is like frigging Tom Cruise, throwing the shaker up in the air, and catching it, then sliding what Dean just knows is a perfectly mixed drink to a stop in front of Balthazar.

Dean’s going to need a cold shower when he gets home.

 

At the end of the night, Cas is pulling his coat – some beige trench thing – on, when Dean steps up behind him. Dean’s not sure what he’s doing – everything’s kind of gone to his head tonight. He could be about to make a massive fool of himself.

But he’s got to at least try.

‘Hey, Cas,’ he says. Cas looks at him, smiling.

‘Hello Dean.’ Dean’s throat is dry, his hands are sweaty and he’s going to chicken out any second now, he’s sure of it. He has no idea what he’s going to say, only that this could go all so badly wrong and then he’s going to have to work with the guy and shit, shit, why did he set himself up for this?

‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’ Dean asks.

That was not what Dean was expecting. At all. He’s blushing, he can feel it, but Cas is grinning at him.

‘Yes. You know, I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?’ Cas asks. Dean’s face is slowly returning to its normal colour, and he finds himself inching a little closer to Cas, hemming him in in the small dark space where their coats are hanging.

‘You can have anything you want,’ Dean says. He leans forward, slowly, waiting for Cas to move his head, or push him away or something.

But Cas closes his eyes, and purses his lips slightly, and Dean’s diving right into that kiss, hands gripping Cas’s waist, pushing him up against the wall behind them.

‘You know,’ he says, breaking the kiss, then pecking Cas on the lips when he lets out a small whine. ‘I really do like your coat, but I think it’ll look better on my bedroom floor.’


End file.
